it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drunk is a universal language darling
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
