My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
