I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
