Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
