I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
