She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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