Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
