We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
