I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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