I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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