Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Buhtt sex?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
