I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I didn't shave. On purpose
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm both gender and math confused
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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