Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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