whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
