I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
