Say something about gay babies.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
