There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
