hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
