and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
