Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
