Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
