not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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