kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
