why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
