My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
