He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
