I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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