508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
