im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
