That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
