I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
