I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize