you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think my moral compass just broke
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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