You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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