i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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