She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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