Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
