Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
did you just send me my own nude
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