I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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