You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have feelings that need drinking.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
