and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
there is glitter all over my balls
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