I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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