I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
