he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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