So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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