Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
