it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
