have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
