I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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