Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
