Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
